Funny Pick Up Lines

funny pick up lines

How many times does it happen that the phrase that could save your impression in public comes to your mind too late, when the party is over? If often, you surely need a proper preparation to save the night! We offer you the easiest and the fastest treatment to these crisis situations – a list of short and funny pick up lines, categorized by your possible purpose of attracting attention. Look at them and assure yourself that you will impress even the most demanding public!


Let’s start first by helping those striving to maintain an image of a hot guy. We have here some phrases — both dirty and witty. Just find the best moment to use one of them, and they’ll make girls follow you all night long!

  • Are you a relative of Saddam Hussein? Because I feel a political uprising is rising in my pants!
    Better used: After you see that the person is fond of politics. Your knowledge in this field is also recommended.
  • Sweetheart, I’m a firefighter. I see them hot, fight a bit, and leave them wet.
    Better used: When not only one girl in a room has already paid an attention to you (so your line will be convincing).
  • You’d better take your pet insurance with you – I’m going to destroy that pussy tonight.
    Better used: On the final stage, when everything is already arranged. And all you need is to consolidate the victory with the last shot.
  • I’m an Asian, so eating your cat is not a problem for me.
    Better used: If you’re really Asian. Ideally, not 100% (so it won’t sound too convincing)


One level lower – if you don’t want to sound too hot but still want that girl. Cheesy jokes make you sound both confident and blurry – in one word, intriguing!

  • You look so much like Cinderella! Can’t wait till the midnight to see you take that nice dress off!
    Better used: If that girl likes fairy tales. And won’t go home at 11 pm.
  • Oh see, they’re falling! Catch! (Observe the ground…) Oh no, they’re low. Did you say your standards are high?
    Better used: When you’re in the company of arrogant people and feel your appearance is not that high. So, be smart and funny – with the proper pick up line, that’s enough.
  • Are you a magician? When I glance at you, nothing else exists in the world!
    Better used: Sweet banality working with naive girls. Best start with something like this before proceeding to that lovely Cinderella pick up line.
  • Your butt is so amazing that it’s a shame to sit on it.
     Better used: If that’s true. If not, it’s still amazing and funny!


If you’re wondering why everyone is so interested in sex, we’ve created a separate category for you. Intelligent humor and the pick up effect – that’s the perfect combination you need to sound smart and convincing!

  • Can I stay at your place? You should say yes to prevent the rising trend of homelessness in our country!
    Better used: If the person feels the responsibility for our society. Otherwise, the risks to join the trend are too high.
  • You know I’m a writer? And can’t finish the last chapter of my book – it’s a phone book, and it’s missing your number!
    Better used: This pick up line is almost universal – you can use it with any person! This is the loveliest way we know to ask for a number and pick up simultaneously.
  • Please call me Beethoven, because I’ll do anything Für Elise!
    Better used: If her name is Elise. Or at least, if she likes classical music.


And the special edition: pick up lines for girls! We’ve decided to provide an opportunity for ladies to fix their appearance in public as well. So, here are the best lines from each of the previous categories – to satisfy each demanding girl!

  • Dirty pick up line: Please, help me with this difficult assignment! I need to find out how to get to Uranus.
    Better used: With the person that has a basic knowledge of the space. And some Uranus jokes, of course. And if you appear like a lost pretty girl ready to become a party queen tonight.
  • Cheesy pick up line: I want you to see the best guy I’ve ever seen (Show the phone screen on a selfie mode).
    Better used: If you want to bring that guy some confidence to proceed to a lovely dirty pick up line finally.
  • Tinder pick up line: Hey, boy! Are you the date today? You look like 10/10!
    Better used: On the 10th of October (obviously). However, you can modify numbers too – 5/5 sounds also nice. May the Fourth be with you!

So, steady, ready, go! And remember – you’re amazing!

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