Best Jokes To Irritate Boring People

Dewey Meme

After our recent post on pranks, we’ve decided to continue this topic and bring even more joy to your life. This time, we’ve searched the Internet to find the best jokes to surprise your dialog partner. For your convenience, we’ve designed several categories, so your search the funniest jokes ever is now even easier. Let’s start! Ensconce yourself cozily and read them all with a smile!

KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

The list of these jokes is kinda childish – but we all jokers are kids, and we’re proud of it. So, here’re the examples how to continue the phrase “Knock, knock. Who’s there?” and can entertain people (at least, your children). Actually, they all are good jokes to play in a really serious situation with the really serious people.

Knock, knock! Who’s there?
The door.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Who!
Who who?
Is it an owl out there!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mushroom.
Mushroom who?
Mushroom knocked on this door before?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Beats.
Beats who? Beats me.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Opportunity!
No way. Opportunity doesn’t knock twice before coming.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Leaf!
Leaf who?
Leaf the house, I’m its owner now!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Figs!
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!

YO MAMA JOKES

Another widely popular joking topics – about mothers. As children, we love them, but we’re ready to joke on others’ mammas beaver-like. Here’s our list of the best jokes in this rich category.

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last Easter and it’s still printing.

Yo mama is so fat when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”

Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the сinema to see Star Wars, everybody was scared and said, “IT’S CHEWBACCA!”

Yo mama is so fat she doesn’t need to appear on Web, because she’s already world wide.

Yo mama is so dumb she booked the tickets to Xbox Live

Yo mama’s so smelly, she was playing in a sandpit and a cat came along and buried her.

 Yo mama’s so white, she could go to her wedding naked.

BLONDE JOKES

It’s hard not to make fun of a blonde girl. No matter what, don’t practice self-denial! We’re here with some awesome funny stories in this category to help you find your inspiration to joke with your blonde friend.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette appear together on a lonely island, and the nearest shore to get out is 50 miles away. To get home, the redhead tried to swim to the other shore but drowned after first 15 mile. The brunette swam 24 miles, but also died. The blonde managed to swim 25 miles, but then got tired and decided to turn back.

Q: Why can’t a blonde call 911?
A: She can’t find how to dial the eleven.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to train them back.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Again, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette together, but now lost in the desert. They found a lamp with genie and started to articulate their wishes. Both the redhead and the brunette desired to be back home with their families. But the blonde was the last one to wish, and she said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”

DIRTY JOKES

As you could notice, some of the blonde jokes are really cruel, but life is life. In this part, we’ll go to a much dirtier humor – hardcore jokers, get ready!

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

What’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?
Where you put the cucumber.

What do a Rubik’s Cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What’s common between going down on an old woman and a pork pie?
You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle or can?
Because his wife died.

PUN JOKES

And finally, the portion of a good old-fashioned wordplay. Use wisely, and remember the most important thing about any fun situation – any phrase can be a good joke when used in an appropriate context!

What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback

My toilet is a perfect friend, only it takes all my shit with no objection.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She gave me a surprised look.

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

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